Families and friends may find it difficult to act around foster children. Their words can affect how the child feels, since the children are more vulnerable compared to their peers.
The following tips provide guidance on what you should and should not say to a foster child.
Things you Should Say
What would you like to do?
Asking the foster child for their opinion helps them know that what they think matters. Growing up in foster care is not easy, and children may feel like their input is downplayed. Asking about their opinion helps them build confidence in themselves and in their capabilities.
2. I am proud of you
It might be difficult for the foster child’s achievements to be recognized by other people. Letting them know that they are valued and recognized gives them a sense of pride in their capabilities. Find ways to recognize the child’s accomplishments and use every opportunity to let them know they are good enough.
3. You are loved
Foster children might not understand the concept of "I love you", but they should know it by your actions when you tell them.
Things you Should Not Say
You are a foster child
Although the child may be in foster care, they are a child first. Perhaps they were traumatized and rejected at some point in their lives, causing them to feel unworthy. Calling them foster children only serves to remind them of memories they would rather forget.
2. I understand what you are going through
Every child has a different experience in foster care. Telling a child that you understand what they are going through sends the impression that you are downplaying their experiences. Children in foster care need someone who is empathetic to them and willing to give them a listening ear.
3. Why are you in foster care?
IT'S ACTUALLY NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. They did not ask to be there. The answer to this question is never pleasant As a result, it is likely to do more harm than good. You risk reminding the child about memories they would rather forget. On the other hand, the child might not know the full story of why they were enrolled in foster care, especially if they were too young to remember.
It might still be difficult to know what to say and not to say to a foster child, but always ensure your words radiate warmth and positivity.